Drama erupted yesterday, as Mark postured like a lame rooster in a perverted attempt to impress a teenaged girl in #perth. Initially breaking into tears over being called by his given name, Mark, instead of his cutesy “please love me” nick marky_boi, Mark went on to hurl, or rather plop, insults at Fletch in an insane, yet doomed, macho attempt to save face.

Fletch was unperturbed by accusations of being a boring, hairy-handed old man, and pointed out that the tedium presented by Mark’s 2008 spree of repetitive childish innuendo and lolcats links far exceeded any boredom incurred by Fletch’s occasional meandering appearances in the channel.

Bystanders declined to comment, and the teenaged girl’s nick has gone unremembered in this tragic tale.